My Beautiful Rescue
by Samtastic Sami
Summary: I promise I will always love you, love of my life. My heart is yours. My heart will always belong to you, my beautiful rescue. You saved me from myself, and made my last few months here worth something. One last goodbye before I bid thee farewell. Forever


**A/N: One-shot, based on the song My Beautiful Rescue by This Providence. Gotta love that song. I hope you enjoy it! During New Moon while Edward is away from Bella and he is wallowing in his self-inflicted pain.**

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**MY BEAUTIFUL RESCUE**

_I've been jumping from the tops of buildings_

_for the thrill of the fall_

I've been jumping from the tops of buildings and running through the forests, trying to find the same thrill I had when we would run together. But I can't seem to find it anymore, now that you're gone.

_ignoring sound advice and any thought of consequence_

I disregarded the consequences, and did what I thought was best for you. You'll be hurt for a while, but that will all go away soon; it's for your own good. Be grateful; my pain is a thousand times worse.

_my bones are shattered_

_my pride is shattered_

_and in the midst of this self inflicted pain_

_I can see my beautiful rescue_

My heart hasn't beat in almost a hundred years, but when I was with you, I felt so whole and complete, experiencing for the first time the full force of true, unrestricted love; but now that you're gone, my heart is broken and shattered, and you're the only one with the needle and thread. I brought this pain upon myself, and I can't blame anyone else. I let myself get close to you, and I let myself fall. And I fell so hard, too. I didn't think I'd ever get back up, but I did. And now that I'm up, I took all the strength I had and walked away. It hurts, but I'm just grateful for the time you had given me. It was more than a monster like me could ever deserve. But every time I'm in pain, I can't help but think about you, and every time I open my eyes, every time I close my eyes, all I can see is you. All I can see is my beautiful rescue. You saved me from myself; more than you'll ever know.

_I'm falling more in love with every single word I withhold_

_and I'm falling more in love with every single word you say_

All I can think about are the words you've told me. Every word you've ever said still rings in my head, and it makes me yearn for you even more. It makes the pain so much more unbearable. I only want your touch, your voice, your warmth, your breathing, your heartbeat, everything, I want it even more with every word from every conversation we had that goes through my mind in recollection.

_I'm falling head over heals for you_

I shouldn't have fallen for you, but it was too late. It already happened. My love will never go out, I promise you that. I'll always be with you, if only in my memories.

_I've been dancing on the tops of buildings_

_at the top of my lungs singing you a song_

_don't you leave me alone_

Singing to you was something I'll never forget, the way your eyes always lit up. I'm still serenading you, but you're too far to hear it. My heart song was made to be heard by only you. I pray you won't leave me every single day, but then I remember; I was the one that left you.

_my bones were shattered_

_my pride lay shattered_

_well I'll trample my pride and tell the whole world "dance with me"_

I wish I could have gone back to you sooner and begged for your forgiveness, for your love. But it's too late now. Much too late. Please forgive me.

_I'm falling more in love with every single word I withhold_

_and I'm falling more in love with every single word you say_

All I can think about were those times when you would whisper 'I love you' to me. Those three words made my lifeless heart soar every time. I wish I could hear those words one more time with my own ears rather than through a memory, one more time before I must leave; before you left.

_I'm falling head over heals for you again_

_well I'm crying I'll wash my hands these bloody hands oh_

_open my mouth and I'll sing whoa_

_I've been dancing on the tops of buildings with you_

I'm trying to wash off these bloody hands, oh please absolve these sins! I'm a murderer, but I wouldn't be the one to take your life away! Don't you see why I left? Do you understand now? No, you never would be able to now, because you're gone for good, and it was my fault. I shouldn't have left. If I was there, maybe I could have stopped you. Maybe you wouldn't have jumped if I stopped you, and I could be there with you right now, to see that smile that was my sunshine, in person. My memories would never do you any justice.

I've been beating myself up these past few months, but I can't find the courage to go back to you. What if she moved on? That's the question that keeps raging in my mind, and the thought of her being happy with someone else hurt just as much as the pain when I left. But if she was happy, then could I really interject?

I'd find a way to get over my feelings if that was what she wanted, but I would always love her, and I would always be waiting in the wings for her, until she realizes that I'm the right one.

But I guess that will never happen, because you really did leave me for good this time. I can't find it in my dead heart to believe that it is true. But it is. And I will make it right. I told you that I would follow you into the dark, so I will. I will never break a promise to you. You thought I broke the promise when I said I would always love you, but I still love you. You're my world, but I can't go back. I will leave, and I pray to God that he will show me enough mercy by allowing me to join you in the afterlife.

But I know I wouldn't be permitted in heaven with you; no, I'm much too horrible for that.

But I know you won't be in hell with me.

I guess we can never be together wherever we are.

I promise I will always love you, love of my life. My heart is yours. My heart will always belong to you, my beautiful rescue. You saved me from myself, and made my last few months here worth something. One last goodbye before I bid thee farewell. Forever yours, the love of your life.

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**A/N: Sorry, but My Beautiful Rescue always makes me cry, and it just really reminds me of the pain Edward endured while he was away from Bella. Hopefully you can tell he is ready to die and go to the Volturi. I hope you enjoyed! Please review! I love one-shots for songs! I'd love to hear requests!**

**-Sami**


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